we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
