stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
