I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
