We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She told me I should be a condom model.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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