When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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