I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
