just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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