when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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