If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
