He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
