I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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