on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
