i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
