the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
