Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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