If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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