New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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