Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
