i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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