it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
