How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
