She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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