Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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