Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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