take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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