He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize