take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize