I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
