I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
