Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
