He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
