I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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