burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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