He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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