you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
