can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i out mim tonsoeep
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