I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
