i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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