Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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