had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
