I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
