My nipple is on Facebook.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
