Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
