I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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