HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
