idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
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as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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