i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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