I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
