if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize