i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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