I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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