I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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