I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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