Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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