Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
