we have officially lost it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
