So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
