um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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