she looked like the before picture.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize