Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize